i knew pretty much from birth that Sydney would be precocious – how could she not be? she is, after all, MY child – but this is starting to get ridiculous! about 95% of the time, Sydney calls me Mommy – every once in a while she’ll call me “Mama” (which i secretly LOVE!) or “Wifey” (because that’s what Kelley calls me) but somewhere in the last few weeks she’s learned the word “Mom” and she’s started using it – i guess i don’t have to tell you that i’m less than thrilled with this – it’s not that i don’t want to be called Mom eventually – i mean, i refer to myself as “being a mom” so i don’t think it has a negative connotation – but my child is 2 – she’s not 6, she’s not 9, she’s not 13 – she’s 2!! 2 going on 20 – and i don’t need her attitude aging any faster than it already is – she can already belt out an “ALRIGHT” and “OKAY MOMMY” like a pre-teen – the last thing i need coming out of her sarcastic mouth is “okay MO-OM” – emphasized with 2 syllables
Evilina (aka my sister) thinks this is hilarious and has started referring to me and Kelley as “mom and dad” – it kind of pissed me off but i knew better than to make a big deal out of it to her – it was better to ignore Evilina than to fan the flames – and that’s what i’ve chosen to do with Sydney too – the first couple of times she called me “mom”, i looked at her and said “my name is Mommy” – she took that as her go ahead to repeat “Mom” – so i decided to take the same approach i took with Evilina – i just ignored her – that’s right, i ignored my child – sure it may be ridiculous and petty – but 2 year olds aren’t supposed to sound like 5 year olds – and while i can’t slow down her rapidly expanding vocabulary, i’ll do what i have to in order to get my point across – and you can say what you want, but it’s working – she was in the living room yesterday when i heard her call out “MOM!” … silence – “MOM!” … silence – apprehensively “Mommy?” … “yes, baby?” … “can i watch Caillou?” … “sure!”
uh huh – i may be mean, but i’m Mean Mommy, NOT Mean Mom!
Sydney is about 98% day potty trained and has been for a while – we finally got the poop issue resolved after a lot of patience (on my part) and regular doses of Miralax – and even though she’s pretty much pee trained, she has started holding her pee and waiting ’til the last possible second to run to the bathroom – and the way her bladder opens like Niagara Falls the second her butt hits the seat would actually be comical if it wasn’t so damn irritating – nonetheless, outside of a few naptime incidents (i refuse to put her in a diaper during the day) she’s basically accident free – except at night time
i know at some point, i’m supposed to limit evening liquids – but we do everything late around here – since we don’t have to get up and out of the house early, we eat late, bathe late and go to bed late – at least late by “normal” kid standards – i try to have the kids ready for bed around 9pm, but it’s usually close to 10pm before they’re both in bed
Sydney had also gotten pretty good about sleeping through the night, but now that she’s become more aware of her bodily functions, it’s a crap shoot (no pun intended) – now, don’t get me wrong – she doesn’t wake up to go to the bathroom, but she does wake up – sometimes she wants to be changed and sometimes she just wants to get in bed with us – regardless, it’s been making for some pretty cramped nights in our queen sized bed
usually when Sydney wakes up, i hear her – of course most of the time, i’m still awake, so that helps – but i always wake up when i hear her door open – anyway, the other night i heard her door open and when she came into the room i heard a little voice say “Mommy, i have poop” – of course when Myles heard her voice, he started to stir too – it happens like that every time – he can sleep through the tv, the doorbell, Kelley and me talking … but the second he hears her high-pitched voice, he’s awake *sigh*
soooo … Sydney’s awake asking me to change her diaper, Myles is awake and wants to nurse and then the dog starts to stir – really? so i wake Kelley up and ask him to grab Myles while i take Sydney into the bathroom to get her changed – of course she was tired and whiny (and lets face it, so was i!) so i was trying to make a big deal about her waking up in the middle of the night to potty and how proud i was of her – then all of a sudden i hear Kelley snapping and saying “no, no, no, no!!!!” – i left Sydney in the bathroom and came around the corner – “Lexie?” i asked – he nodded – “pee or poop?” i asked – “i don’t know but it’s in the kitchen” – Kelley had let Lexie out and was back in the bedrrom with Myles – i got Sydney dressed and sent her back to my room and headed to the kitchen where i found a pile of poop – nice.
so basically it’s 2 am and all 3 of my children are awake, 2 of them have pooped on themselves and now everyone wants to pile in bed with Mommy – i swear my life is like a sitcom – only not nearly as funny! and as always, it always comes back to poop
i can’t remember who it was, but someone told me that when i’m having trouble getting Sydney to go to sleep, i should tell her she has to sleep so that she has energy for the next day – that seemed like a pretty smart idea and i tried it out on her the other night – to be honest, it seemed like it went in one ear and out the other but it must have made an impression
last Friday when i asked Sydney my usual “did you have good sleeps last night?” she responded with “yes Mommy, i have lots of energy!” – and i have to give it to her, she did have a lot of energy – she ended up sleeping until almost 10:30am and then went a million miles an hour at our 3 hour play date – i figured after all of that, she’d be exhausted – but instead, she slept about 30 minutes on the ride home and woke up when i brought her into the house – i had a few things i needed to get done so i decided to let Sydney finish up her nap on the couch – she’d been lying on the couch with her eyes closed for about 10 minutes and she’s been pretty quiet so i assumed she was drifting off to sleep, but i should have known better – about 2 minutes later, she sat up and said “Mommy, i don’t need to sleep – i have enough energy” – uhhhh … what am i supposed to say to that? i have to give it to her because she did try – but if she can’t sleep, she can’t sleep!!
ok, so it’s not Wednesday – and obviously this post isn’t Wordless – but i’ve been wanting to do Wordless Wednesday but add a twist to it – if you’re not familiar with Wordless Wednesday, it’s one of those “jump on the bandwagon” blogger things that everyone does – the idea is for you to post a picture that says so much, it needs no words – at least that was supposed to be the idea! on most blogs, people just use it to post a ton of pictures, which is what i’ll be doing today since people have been asking for pictures – but starting next week i’ll try to post pictures that elicit funny captions – only i want you guys to come up with the captions – is that too “i’m a big-time blogger”? because clearly with my “once every blue moon” blogging habits of late, i’m not! but anyway, we’ll try it and see if it sticks – if not, maybe i’ll just remember to post pictures more regularly!
Father’s Day – Sydney picked out her own bow – can you tell?
any idea where Kelley and i are supposed to sleep? this is the downside to co-sleeping!
naptime!!! i don’t know what i’m gonna do when he outgrows the swing!
i know it’s been a while since i’ve blogged but i finally feel like i’m starting to get past the Baby Blues and get back into my groove (Shout Out Stella!!!) – i’m finally reallywanting to write again and instead of struggling to come up with topics that i think might be interesting or entertaining, things are just popping into my head now – thanks to a little therapy and a little Mommy time, i’m finally starting to feel like my old self again – don’t get me wrong – i still have bad days and i’m still struggling with the guilt of trying to balance being a mom, a wife and just me – but there are more good days than bad and even though i still feel guilty about it, i’m finally taking time out for me – not because i necessarily want to, but because my therapist said i need to – and i know that she’s right – but the guilt is still there …
in the beginning, i knew things were a little off because i felt like i was missing that “connection” to Myles – it was weird because i felt it immediately after he was born, but then after a few weeks it was gone – it wasn’t that i didn’t love him or that i didn’t want to take care of him – but i was kind of feeling like it was more of an obligation than anything else – we would lie in bed and snuggle while we nursed but the minute Kelley would take him so i could get some rest, i felt instantly relieved and glad for the break – and i wasn’t in a hurry to have him back – but i would feel horribly guilty about it because what kind of mother doesn’t miss her newborn baby? what kind of mom is not madly in love with her baby boy? the crazy kind! at least that’s how i felt!
i always wanted a boy – at one point, i wanted 1 girl and 4 boys!! and i always wanted a boy to be my firstborn so my girl would have an older brother – clearly that wasn’t the case – but whenever i would tell my mom about wanting rough and tumble little boys who would track in dirt and mud and bring home bugs and frogs, she would always tell me that little boys ALWAYS loved their mamas – and i knew that one day i’d have that connection with my son – so where the hell was it? because while i loved my baby boy, i felt like that connection had disappeared – i’d felt it for what seemed like a fleeting minute and since i’d always felt it with Sydney, i knew something was wrong
then one day, Myles smiled at me – it was the same smile he had given me a hundred times before but that day something was different – not the smile, not him … it was me – i was different – that day when he smiled at me, i was different – and a love affair was born
to be honest, Kelley noticed it before i did – one day, he came home from work and picked up Myles and Sydney like he always does – i went into the kitchen to get dinner started but came back out for whatever reason – when i did, Myles caught my eye and his face lit up – and when it did, so did mine – we were standing about 10 feet apart and just staring at each other when Kelley said, “what is this? a love affair?” – we both laughed, but i thought to myself “that’s EXACTLY what it is!” – and just like that, the one thing that had been missing from my relationship with my son was back!
Myles has always been a mama’s boy and in the beginning, i attributed it to the fact that he knew i was the one with the milk – but slowly, i began to notice that he didn’t want the milk all the time – he just wanted me – if Kelley was holding him, Myles would cry and cry and cry – but the minute i took him into my arms, he would let out a heavy sigh like, “thank God Mommy – you’ve just SAVED me!!!” – for a while i was irritated by that – i was irritated that i was the only one that could soothe him because i really just wanted to be left alone – but slowly, i started to remember what it felt like to want to be the only one that could soothe him – i started to love feeling like we were the only 2 people in the room – i wanted to drop whatever i was doing and run and smother him with kisses – i wanted to gaze into his eyes and watch his eyes dance and listen to him laugh – he really did love me – just like my mom said!
if you know me at all, you know i’m a HUGE General Hospital fan (though i’ve been more than disappointed with some of the current story lines – but that’s a post for another day!) – anyway, if you’re a GH fan you’re familiar with “Sam and Jason’s song” – it’s called “Just You and Me” and it was written by Rie Sinclair and performed by Jayson Belt – when the song was first played, that was the only information i could find because you couldn’t find it anywhere – i remember Googling trying to find out who sang it so i could get it on iTunes – and as it turned out, i wasn’t the only one – several people had been asking about the song and everyone was disappointed that it wasn’t available anywhere – after that i would occasionally look for the song when i’d hear it on the show, but still nothing
when i was preparing for Myles’ birth, i started putting together labor playlists on iTunes – i had 4 of them – 2 gospel – one fast and one slow – and 2 regular, again one fast and one slow – i decided to look for the Jason and Sam song one more time and i found it – i guess it had been a while since i’d searched last because suddenly you could get it everywhere – so i added it to my playlist and kind of forgot about it
when i went into labor, i decided to labor in the tub for a while and listen to music – i don’t know where Kelley had disappeared off to (i’m sure i’d sent him to do something) and it was the first time since i’d gone into labor that i was really alone – “Just You and Me” was playing and for some reason, i really heard the chorus for the first time and even though it’s a love song, the words seemed to fit where i was in that moment – perfectly.
“Baby its just you & me
we got a thing they can’t shake
Maybe its a little hard sometimes to take
But I’ll tell you something, its a life worth living
Just so you know, I wouldn’t give it up no.”
for some reason, when i heard the words i began to cry – not like a big breakdown cry, but tears started to run down my face – i didn’t read too much into it and really thought it was because i was hormonal and in labor – so i didn’t think too much of it – but then today, it happened again – now let me say that i’ve listened to that song dozens of times since Myles was born and i remembered that moment when i was in labor – but today it was different
Myles and Sydney were both asleep and i had turned off the tv (for once) and was listening to my playlist – Myles was starting to stir so i picked him up from the swing so he wouldn’t wake up Sydney – i held him close hoping he’d fall back asleep and then i heard the song – and just like before, all i heard was the chorus – and then there i was, just me and my baby boy – his head laying on my shoulder and silent tears streaming down my face, just like the night he was born
see … a love affair – the kind only a mother and son share
@CharmedValerie too bad they don't want Dallas Divas and Precocious Toddlers - i have their star napping in my bed right this minute! 7 hours ago
i've managed to break yet another mouse - for those of you keeping count, i believe this is #6 - the scroll is now broken - off to Target! 10 hours ago
nothing says Mommyhood like smiling at your toddler in his walker and then noticing poop running down his leg :/ 11 hours ago
