going into this birth, i had every intention of it being different than Sydney’s birth – Sydney was induced at 41 weeks and while i was (and still am) very happy with the way she came into the world, it wasn’t at all how i had planned it to be – but then neither was this one – i guess what they say about the best laid plans is true!
Monday morning i had an appointment with my OB, Dr. Flowers – i was 40 weeks and 2 days pregnant and READY for this baby to be born – while i had been ready in my head for a couple of weeks, Friday morning i hit that “GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!” wall and was really starting to get impatient – especially since my body had been making progress for a couple of weeks – we did another ultrasound, where the sonographer told me she was estimating the baby to be a 9 pounder and then the Non Stress Test, which the baby responded to with no problems – and while my cervix had thinned out a little more, i was still only dilated to 2 cm – are you joking me? GET OUT!! i promise my arms are comfier than my uterus!!! anyway, knowing that i did NOT want to be induced again, Dr. Flowers promised she wouldn’t bring up the dreaded “I-word” until at least the next week and sent me home with all of the normal old wives tale induction recommendations – walk, blah-blah-blah, sex, blah-blah-blah – pretty much just hurry up and wait
since Monday was a holiday, Kelley was with us so we all headed home to enjoy the rest of the afternoon – i was still trying to finish up some last minute wedding details for a few brides and then decided to head out to finish some errands, but around 2pm i started having contractions – i waited til i’d had a few regular ones before i even mentioned them to Kelley because i didn’t want to cry wolf – the problem was they never really became “regular” – and isn’t that the way they do it on tv? “call me when your contractiuons are 5 minutes apart!” – i had downloaded the Contraction Master app to my iPhone so that i could time them – but they never had a “set” pattern – they were generally about a minute long and were coming sporadically – every 3 minutes, every 7 minutes, every 10 minutes, every 5 minutes – there was no set pattern and they weren’t very painful – more like uncomfortable – my doula, Cindy, had told me to call her when the contractions were so intense that i couldn’t walk or talk through them – well, they were FAR from that so i decided to head to Walmart – because that’s how i roll!
i wandered aimlessly through Walmart half hoping that would kick-start something but no such luck – so i picked up a few things (including Easter candy – YAY!) and headed home – i had already called everyone (my mom, BFF Angie, my sister aka Evilina, ReJana aka the best photographer EVA’! and Cindy to be on standby – since i was induced with Sydney, going into labor naturally was going to be a new experience for me and i wasn’t exactly sure what to expect – when i got home, i ran around the house trying to do some last minute things (like packing – good looking out!) and suddenly the contractions seemed to get a little stronger – not strong enough that i couldn’t walk or talk through them, but stronger – i called Cindy, who suggested i eat something and then take a nap because i would need the strength later – originally i had planned on cooking but standing in the kitchen suddenly didn’t seem so appealing – so i ordered a pizza and sent Kelley to pick it up and because i could feel myself getting agitated, i told him to take Sydney with him
after they left, i continued with my “to-do” list and thought i should call my mom and Angie and tell them to head over – the contractions were still manageable but i didn’t know when they would change – Angie was going to stay with Sydney while we went to the hospital and since i planned to labor at home til things got close, i wanted my mom there (cause when things get rough, don’t you always want your Mommy?) – Kelley came home soon after that with the pizza and i quickly downed 3 slices – then everyone started showing up and it started to feel like a party – my intention was to eat and then lay down, but as is usually the case with me, i kept needing to do “one more thing” – the last thing i planned on doing was putting Sydney down for the night and figured i would fall asleep in the process like i usually do – but Sydney had other plans – i think she sensed that things were about to change and ever the busybody, she wasn’t about to miss out – we headed to her room and nursed and rocked for a while then she announced she was finished and headed for the door – i knew she was tired and figured she would crash soon so i didn’t stop her
the party continued for a little longer but around 11pm Sydney started to get ornery and i was starting to get tired so we decided to shut the party down and head for bed – i was starting to get irritated with my body because i didn’t feel like i was making any progress and at 11:30pm, i decided to call Cindy one last time and see if there was anything else i should be doing – she suggested sleep (of course) to allow my body to rest and get ready for labor – so for the last time Kelley, Sydney and i climbed into bed together and i tried to get Sydney to go to sleep – of course Sydney wasn’t having it and all she wanted to do was play which turned out to be poor timing because that’s when my contractions started to get stronger – Kelley tried to take her out to Angie but i wanted her to stay with me even though she was a little on the bothersome side – i’m not sure what Sydney was doing, but out of nowhere Angie came and asked Sydney if she wanted to watch a DVD and in an instant, my kid ditched me for Barney!
the contractions were starting to get even stronger and i started to get the shakes (which i had with Sydney) so i told Kelley to call Cindy – we were at the point where i couldn’t talk through them, so Kelley told her to head over – i was freezing by then and decided a hot bath would help me warm up plus take the edge off the contractions so i sent him to get a bath going and i decided to call ReJana – i have to say that there are many benefits to having one of your best friends also be your photographer – but one of the greatest benefits is that she can finish your sentences … in the middle of a contraction – i think our conversation went something like this
ReJana – hello?
me – i think it’s tiiime (in a sing song voice)
ReJana – really? cool!
me – (contraction coming on) uhhhh …yeah … just called Cindy and …
ReJana – is she coming over?
me – uh huh – uhhhh … we, uh
ReJana – you want me to come over there now?
me – yeah
ReJana – okay – i’m headed there now
well that was easy!!
Sydney was still in the living room with Angie so Kelley got me settled in the tub and got my music started playing – what seemed like a few minutes later, Cindy showed up and and a few minutes after that ReJana showed up – and once again, the party had started! it was about 1am and the contractions were still fairly strong but i felt like they were still pretty manageable – i was still able to have conversations between contractions, and thanks to Cindy i was able to stay ahead of them for the most part – Angie popped in while Kelley attempted his Daddy Magic to get Sydney to sleep and then out of nowhere, the contractions started getting really strong – i started changing positions while Cindy applied pressure to my back and hips and that helped for a few contractions, but then they started getting bad – and it seemed to get worse with each contraction – Cindy suggested we think about heading to the hospital because i didn’t want to be in the car during those transitional contractions – i knew we needed to go soon but every time i changed positions the next contraction hurt WAY worse (which Cindy said was normal) so i was hesitant to move – but then i decided i needed to pee, so i got out of the tub and was hit with a monster contraction – i immediately leaned on Cindy and said, “Cindy, i don’t think i can do this” – “yes you can” she said, “this just means you’re getting close” – after that things got kind of fuzzy because everyone was moving in different directions trying to get me and all my stuff into the car – i was headed to the garage when i felt a really strong contraction coming on – i immediately turned off into our bedroom and laid on the bed – i had 2 really strong contractions which felt like they were back to back – i asked Cindy if she would check to see how far i was dilated (in addition to being a doula and a chiropractor, she’s studying to be a midwife) – she said that she would if i really wanted her to but said it would be really uncomfortable and thought we should just go ahead to the hospital – i said okay and headed to the car
as i climbed into the car, i realized how cold it was – Kelley had put towels in the back seat but only spread one of them out – when i climbed in the leather was FREEZING so in the midst of trying to get in the car, find a comfortable position and have another contraction, i was also trying to spread out the towels … and good thing! Cindy had asked me a few minutes earlier if i wanted her to ride with me and the answer was absolutely! i knew i couldn’t get through the contractions without her and looking back, that was the best decision i made all night!
we were finally in the car and the contractions were coming pretty quickly and as we pulled on to the highway i asked 2 things – 1. were the doors locked? because it would be my luck that i’d be reaching for something and grab the door handle and go tumbling out the door and 2. what time it was – the answer was 2:22am
as we were headed down the highway, i could feel the contractions coming faster – i was on my hands and knees with my head leaning on my pillow against the passenger window – every time a contraction would come, i would grab the pillow and bury my head into it and moan – it seemed like forever but all of a sudden i felt the need to push, i pulled away from the pillow and then what felt like a water balloon fell out of me – i remember feeling a tremendous amount of relief – like all the pressure was gone and saying, “oh my God, my water just broke!” – i was relieved because i thought i would get a few minutes of rest but i was wrong about that – it wasn’t a minute later that i felt more pressure and i had to push again – i remember trying not to push and just having to go with it and all of a sudden i felt what seemed like a ball between my legs, i reached down and could feel a head of hair – a that point i yelled “oh my God i’m gonna have this baby in the car!” – Cindy told Kelley that we needed to pull over to which he responded, “are you sure? we’re just a few minutes from the hospital …” – “PULL OVER!!!” i yelled – it was then that Cindy told me she needed to push again but since the pressure of the baby’s head was gone, i didn’t really feel the need to push – i tried to push again but wasn’t sure if i was doing it right – then Cindy said to push one more time, so i did and suddenly there was a baby between my legs – he wasn’t crying and i remember saying several times, “is he okay? is he breathing?” – Cindy said “he’s perfect” just as i heard him start to scream and she slid him between my legs – that’s when i picked up my baby and looked down and yelled, “IT’S A BOY!!!!” – what happened in the next few minutes was a complete blur – i immediately tried to hold him to my chest but felt some tugging down below – oh yeah, there’s an umbilical cord there – and it’s attached to the placenta – i think someone handed me a towel which i immediately wrapped around Myles – Cindy had come around to the passenger side of the car to help me reposition – ReJana was suddenly in the front passenger seat on the phone with 911 and i could hear her spelling her name (which i thought was odd) – Myles was still crying so i decided to try and nurse him – after a minute or so, he latched on and we settled into the backseat to wait – a few minutes later, a paramedic appeared and with Cindy’s help, we delivered the placenta and cut the umbilical cord – there was a lot going on outside the car and i could hear the paramedics talking but the only thing i was concerned with was my gorgeous baby boy – i wasn’t in any pain at all and as far as i was concerned, i could’ve sat in that backseat all night long – eventually, they got me loaded onto the gurney so the ambulance could transport me to the hospital – as they were wheeling me to the ambulance, ReJana came running over to me and said “your mom’s here!” and there she suddenly appeared – i took one look at her and said “look at my baby boy!!!” – she gave me a hug and they wheeled me into the ambulance
it seemed like forever before we finally left – they were asking me tons of questions – name, rank, serial number – and they were connecting me to all kinds of stuff – an IV, oxygen, etc. i didn’t even think to ask what they were doing – i was too busy looking at my baby boy and trying to make sure he was nice and warm – they had given me some sort of foil blanket wrap that was supposed to help increase his body temperature while they asked me 20 questions and then finally we were on our way to the hospital – when we got there they took me in through the ER, but clearly since i’d already had the baby it was no longer an emergency – but that didn’t stop everyone from looking at me like i had 2 heads – as they rolled me past the intake desk i heard someone whisper, “is that her?” – yes, i am now the girl who had a baby in a car! about an hour after i delivered Myles, my OB showed up – she’s a WAY better person than me because i would not be happy if i had to get out of bed to come see a patient who had ALREADY had the baby!! i wish i could describe the look on her face when she saw me sitting there holding the baby – she’s so funny, she just looked at me and said “uh, so what happened?” – y’all know how i love Dr. Flowers, so i was kind of bummed that she didn’t get to deliver this baby – guess that means we’ll definitely have to have a 3rd, right?
random things i remember from the evening
* once we had made the decision to head to the hospital, there was a discussion of what i would wear – i had purchased a labor outfit that consisted of a purple tank top and black jersey knit skirt – i remember telling the girls that i didn’t want to wear that in the car because if my water broke in the car, i’d be pissed if it was all wet when we got to the hospital – only i would be prolonging my trip to the hospital by having to make a fashion decision 
* i wanted to take my pillow with the same purple pillowcase i used when i had Sydney – Kelley looked for it in the linen closet and couldn’t find it – i was just wondering how i could manage to get to the linen closet to look for it myself when Angie came in and said she’d look for it – BFF to the rescue!! she didn’t find it either but i guess it didn’t matter!
* while sitting in the ambulance, it occurred to me that i had never been in an ambulance before – then, all of a sudden i heard a siren – one of the paramedics said, “it looks like your husband is playing with the horn” – only he didn’t know that he was – Kelley was sitting in the front seat and apparently the horn is on the floor – fyi, did you know that they don’t let you ride in the back of the ambulance – Kelley had to ride in the front!!!
* i was sitting in the back seat waiting on the paramedics and we could hear the sirens – Kelley came over to the me, flashlight in hand, and said “the paramedics are on their way – do you have everything you want to have on when they get here?” – uhhhh, do i have a wardrobe choice? ReJana reminded me of this a few days later and said i had the craziest look on my face when he asked me – HI-larious!
i’m sure there will be more as i replay the night in my head over and over again – what a great night!
so there you have it – the birth of Myles Emanuel Hall – i never would have imagined i would (or could) give birth in a car – it was a totally crazy but totally amazing experience – when they say that the 2nd baby comes faster, they weren’t lying – i am so blessed and thankful that Cindy was there because i don’t know what i would have done without her – and i can’t wait to see the pictures – only ReJana could be taking pictures and talking to 911 at the same time – she ROCKS!!
because i never tire of having BluDoor Studios take pictures of me (or my freaking adorable kid!), we headed to the studio when i was 36 weeks pregnant for maternity pictures – we scheduled the shoot for morning because i thought that would be when Sydney would be most agreeable – as it turns out, she took one look at her future BFF, Macie (Mike and ReJana’s daughter) and lost ALL interest in me – ornery kid!
when ReJana posted this on their blog, i was shocked!
Sydney was SO uncooperative that day i thought for sure we wouldn’t have gotten any pictures with her – but ReJana worked her magic (plus the fact that Sydney LOVES ‘Jana’ almost as much as Macie) and managed to get some great shots of the divine Miss Sydney – she also managed to make me look like the size of 1 house instead of the size of the 2 houses that i actually am! i love these pictures so much, i almost don’t mind not having had this baby yet … ALMOST!
remember when you were a kid and when people asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up, you had a laundry list of occupations? i wanted to be an OB/GYN, pediatrician and a teacher – what? you don’t think it’s possible? i’m all about the kids 
at any rate, i don’t think i ever really outgrew that phase because i’ve still always wanted to be a lot of different things when i grow up (btw, does anyone know at what age you’re officially “grown up”?) – anyway, periodically i’ll hear about some cool occupation and think to myself “i can do that” – and then after a little bit of reasearch i find out that i’m a. too lazy to do the work that it takes to get certified/degreed/etc. and/or b. wildly unqualified and completely incapable – ahhhhh, reality!
before i got pregnant, i decided to grow my hair out – it had been short for a couple of years and since i was planning on getting pregnant soon, i knew it would grow like crazy (thanks to the pregnancy hormones) – i really like to wear it straight and because it’s so thick and has so much body, i had this crazy illusion that i could also style it – uhhh, not so much – now, i am a self admitted product ho – i’ll try just about anything and even have my own little hair appliance graveyard under my bathroom sink – different sized flat irons, different sized curling irons (everything from 1/4″ to 1 1/2″), hot rollers, velcro rollers, a hair dryer (that i never use), a hair dryer holder (cause my arms get tired holding the hair dryer that i never use), various sized brushes and combs – and don’t get me started on hair products … you name it, i probably have it – or have at one time – so how is it that i fell into the “as seen on tv” trap?
the great thing about “as seen on tv” is that you no longer have to order things on tv because someone is always selling it in a store – and because they always make it look so easy on tv, i knew i could handle this – now, let me preface my fancy hair appliance announcement by saying that i have always wanted to have long hair with those big full curls – understand, i was born with naturally curly hair – but my natural hair state is VERY different from the curls i want – what i have is kind of a cross between early Felicity and Sarah Jessica Parker, the Square Peg Years – and what i want is the long, flowing loose curls that Carrie Underwood, Nicole Kidman and the Holy Grail of Celebrity hair, Kate Beckinsale rock on the Red Carpet – and because my hair is long and thick, i should be able to recreate at least some reasonable mere mortal recreation, right?
so after seeing the infomercial for the Conair Infiniti You Style Flat Iron, i thought for sure i could handle it – i did lots of research, read reviews, studied the video and then located it in an actual store – i just knew i could handle this – i’d checked out similar appliances and the Conair Infiniti got the best ratings – people went on and on about how great it was and how easy it was to use – so i bought one – they even had a purple one – it was like it was meant to be! i had already straightened my hair with my Chi flat iron 2 days before, so all i had to do was follow the instructional video and i’d be on my way to flinging my bouncy curly hair like i was Beyonce at the Grammys!!
and then it began … even though i had studied the videos on line, i watched the DVD that the Conair came with one more time for good measure – “hold the flat iron close to your roots with the cooling plates facing you, as you pull your hair through, turn the plates away from you 180 degrees and run hair through the end” – uh huh – how is it possible that the middle of my hair curled in the perfect spiral curl while the end was straight and flipping straight out? ok, clearly user error – so i tried it again – ummmm … well maybe it’ll work better on the other side – once again i lined it up with the plates facing my head, turned them away to 180 degrees and let my hair glide through the plates – and once again i ended up with the perfect spiral curl in the middle with some bizarre flippy piece at the end 
are you joking me? am i really this inept? i know that i’ll never have red-carpet hair without the assistance of a professional – but i thought i was at least capable of producing some type of soft bouncy curl – i guess i could have gone through the process of curling my whole head and then chop off the weird flippy ends – but that would leave me with horribly uneven ends and then it would get shorter and shorter every time i used it – and in a few months when my hair starts to fall out (thank you pregnancy hormones), i’d really be looking a hot ass mess – so what did i do? i whipped out my Chi and straightened it the best i could with the standard bump curl at the end, cleaned the plates of the Infiniti with rubbing alcohol, packaged that baby up and headed back to Ulta to get my $34.99 + tax back
i guess it’s safe to mark “hairdresser” off the list of Careers I Might Have In My Next Life 
everyone tells you that it goes by SO fast – and it does – not a day goes by that i’m not amazed by how much Sydney has grown, but with today being her 2nd birthday – i’m completely blown away – we watched the slide show of Sydney’s birth today (multiple times since every time it stopped, Sydney would say “again?” – 
) and i can’t believe that the tiny, little baby that came out of my body has grown into a 3″, 26 pound walking and talking kid!!! it’s unreal – one day she was completely dependent on me and couldn’t do a thing on her own and the next thing i know, she’s giving me the stink eye and saying, “NO – I DO IT MOMMY!” – crazytown.
i’ve heard from other friends and read blogs from moms that are sad when their kids hit milestones, because they feel like they’re losing their babies and they’re all grown up – but i’ve never felt like that – maybe i’ll feel differently when she starts kindergarten or goes on her first date – but right now, i have just thoroughly enjoyed every minute – well, except maybe for the tantrums and meltdowns! i remember soon after Sydney was born having a conversation with Kellie Rasberry and she told me, “it just gets better and better” – she was SO right – Sydney is so much fun right now – she learns new things every day and every day i’m amazed at the things she knows – even when i’m mad at her, it’s hard to stay that way because she’s so sweet and snuggly – she’s recently learned the phrase “i’m sorry” but hasn’t really learned when to use it – so when i apologize to her, sometimes she thinks i’m telling HER to apologize and she’ll say it back to me – so cute!! and the moments that i catch her and Kelley interacting are absolutely priceless – they are SO funny together and she totally has him wrapped around her finger – there are days when i wish i had a camera running because they are so cute together and i don’t want to forget any of it!
these days, my favorite part of the day is the few quiet moments that Sydney and i have together before she goes to sleep – i know she’ll never remember those moments and that i’ll remember them forever – and that even if by some chance she did remember them, she won’t understand them until she has a child of her own – the times that i tell her how much i love her and that no matter how bad our day was (or how crappy a mommy i was that day), that she still consumes my entire heart – she’s the child i’ve wanted my entire life and the one i waited for the longest – there’s a scene from the movie Coal Miner’s Daughter where Loretta Lynn’s daddy tells her “you’re my pride and joy, girl – my pride and joy” and that’s how i feel about Sydney – i have so many hopes and dreams for her – so many things i want her to accomplish – no pressure though
and maybe that’s when my mommy sadness will kick in – i know that as she gets older, those quiet times will come to an end – she won’t want me to help her put on her pajamas and she’ll be too big to rock to sleep – before i know it, she’ll be freaked out if i see her naked and she won’t think i hung the moon – and then the secret will be out – she’ll know i’m not perfect and that i can’t fix anything – but i’ll remember those days when she thought i could – i’ll also remember the day i found out i was pregnant – the first time i felt her kick – the day she was born – the first time she said i love you – i’ll remember it all – and pray that one day she’ll have a chance to remember those things about her own child
as usual, i’ll post the link to my birth slide show (just click on the picture) – easily one of the best days of my life and while i may be biased (just a little!) some of the best work that Mike and ReJana have ever done! Happy Birthday Baby Girl – i hope this year is the best one yet!
when i was in high school, there was a female dentist who also had a column in our local paper – her name was Monica Anderson and i always thought she was hilarious – she was kind of like a blogger before blogging had a name – one of the columns she wrote that stuck with me was about her 2 sons – i specifically remember her mentioning how with her oldest son, she’d carefully made all of his food from scratch and held him so much his feet barely touched the ground – she referred to him as the Golden Child – her youngest son? well, he was the Golden Arches Child – he erupted with glee every time he saw McDonald’s and his first word was ‘french fries’ – or something to that effect 
but the basic idea was how with the first child, you try to do everything perfectly – you worry about every parenting decision you make and second guess every little thing – and then when the second kid comes along, your goal is just to keep them alive! i hoped that i wouldn’t become that parent, but i can see that i’m already on my way
i haven’t talked a lot about this pregnancy because for the most part, it’s been the same as the first – i documented every single thing with Sydney and that’s not to say that this pregnancy is any less special or important – but since it’s been so much like the first, there really isn’t anything “new” to report – i’ve been very blessed in that i’ve been a SUPER healthy person my entire life- i rarely get sick and when i do, it’s usually just a random cold – and fortunately my pregnancies have been the same – my OB says i’m basically a textbook pregnancy case – no high blood pressure or weird test results – no gestational diabetes or placenta previa – even my morning sickness was pretty tame – i barely had any with Sydney and although i was sick with this baby, it was just a lot of nausea and no vomiting (thank God!) – it was gone at 12 weeks and i was back to my normal self – i felt the baby move really early and while this baby seems to have a much milder manner than Sydney, he still moves a good amount and there have been no scares at all (unlike with Sydney) – it’s been fairly uneventful and i’m happy with that – i’ve enjoyed being pregnant and have come to realize that i’m just one of those women that likes being pregnant (despite the fact that i’m as big as a house!) – but i’m 39 weeks pregnant today and think it’s time for us to get a move on!
i’m at the point where people are starting to ask if i’m ready and while i want to scream “YES! YES! YES!”, ready is a relative term – i’m definitely ready to meet this little one and introduce him to our world, but ready in the “everything is perfect and it’s place” – welllll …
the one thing that i learned with Sydney is that newborns really don’t need that much – when people tell you that all babies do is eat, sleep and poop they aren’t joking! and knowing that we’re basically going to run with the same routine we did with Sydney, i know that we won’t really need much more than we already have until later down the line – since i’ll be breastfeeding, we’ll co-sleep like we did with Sydney – so despite the fact that i’m picking up a new bed for Sydney tomorrow so that we can convert her bed back to a crib, we probably won’t use it for a while – since i’ll be at home full time (and MUCH more comfortable nursing in public this time around), there’s really no need to have a ton of bottles ready to go – we cloth diaper so i already have my stash ready (it just needs to be washed one more time) – and as far as clothes, i still have all of Sydney’s gender neutral sleepers and onesies ready to go (though they do need to be folded!) – anything else?
it’s funny because when i found out i was pregnant, i was all concerned about what to do with the nursery – i even briefly considered finding out the sex so we would know how to decorate – rather than put this baby in its own room, we opted to make our spare bedroom into a true office/craft room and move this baby in with Sydney – i was all worried about them sharing a room if it was a boy, especially since the bedroom is painted purple – but we painted it purple before we knew Sydney was a girl, so in reality i couldn’t have been that worried about it – and initially i decided to work in some more “masculine” colors just in case – but time got away from me and i never could find exactly what i wanted – so instead i pretty much kept everything the same and just decided to work in some more green after the baby is born, if it does turn out to be a boy
and speaking of gender – it still cracks me up that people want to know so badly what i’m having – i can’t tell you how many times friends and family have asked me if i know what i’m having – even after the big 20 week ultrasound – i think they all think that we secretly know and just aren’t telling anyone – which i personally think is a little weird, but whateve – Kelley still wanted to know but i won that battle again – when my OB handed Sydney to me and i got to look at her and announce she was a girl … i can’t even describe the emotions i felt – and if i have a chance to experience that again … i’m TOTALLY taking it! of course that hasn’t stopped the speculation at all – in fact, it’s really just spurred it on
i don’t really know (or believe) any of the old wives tales that predict the sex, but i did a few of them just for kicks – The Chinese Birth Charts all said that Sydney would be a boy – uhhh … clearly that was wrong – and almost all of them have said the same thing this time around too – except one test that was just based on age and month of conception – that one says girl – and just about EVERYONE said that Sydney was a boy based on the way i was carrying – i don’t really know how that whole thing works but maybe you can tell …
with Sydney – i was 36 1/2 weeks (and 3 times the size of the smokin’ hot Kellie Rasberry!)
and with this baby – 38 weeks and 5 days (and still as big as a house!) – please excuse the smirk on my face as a i try to give direction to my photography challenged husband!
i don’t know!! while i’m smaller this time around (though not by much), i think i’m carrying pretty much the same – i certainly feel the same! when i was pregnant with Sydney, i had 2-3 dreams that she was a boy – in one dream, i could even see into my stomach and saw an itty-bitty penis – then i had one girl dream but i still thought she was a boy – this time around i’ve had 2 dreams – one where i could only see the face – i thought it looked like a girl but still thought it was a boy – just a really pretty one – then about a week ago i had a dream where i was able to see into my belly and it was definitely a boy – which of course means nothing! everyone said boy last time and everyone is saying boy this time too – but i think this time around, they just want me to have a boy since we already have a girl – which leads to the question, what do i want?
i know people say this all the time, but i really just want a healthy baby – i honestly don’t care either way because i could make arguments for both – if i’d been able to have a talk with God and give him my input, i would’ve asked for 2 boys first and then a girl – i always wanted to have a big brother so i really wanted that for my daughter – and i figured any daughter of mine would have my bad attitude and not wanting to deal with more than one of those, i decided one girl would be enough for me! but then i found out my due date was a week after Sydney’s birthday and that changed things for me – Sydney and this baby are going to be almost exactly 2 years apart which i think is WAY cool (and no we didn’t plan it like that – it just happened!) – so i would love it if they were both girls because they’d be close in age growing up and could have simultaneous birthday parties and share clothes and hang out together – and although i’m sure the tween/teen years would be hell, i picture them being BFFs – my sister and i are 5 years apart and although we’re really close, i wish our age gap wasn’t so wide – besides if i have another girl, then we have to have a 3rd baby to try for a boy - right?? which leads me to the boy argument
i have ALWAYS wanted boys – bad-ass, dirty, rough-and-tumble little boys who track in dirt and mud and play in creeks and bring home bugs and scare you half to death by trying death-defying tricks that end in trips to the ER – yes – me, the girliest of the girls, has always wanted boys – plus, my mom always told me that little boys LOVE LOVE LOVE their mamas – and how could you not want a bond like that? i have been adamant that i really want 3 kids – and Kelley has been pretty insistent that he only wants 2 – now, anyone who knows us knows that there are VERY few things that my husband says no to when i ask – and while in my mind, i’m pretty sure i can talk him into a 3rd baby – what if he gives me the Heisman and i only end up with 2? if this one is a boy then at least i’d have one of each and i’d never have to wonder what it would be like to have a boy
of course then there’s always the chance that this one is a girl and i’d talk Kelley into a 3rd and it would be a girl too – then i’d really be screwed because i’d end up as a single mom – Kelley would surely run away from home to escape this estrogen filled house and i’d be left trying not to kill to manage 3 girls with attitude just like mine! oh well, either way it’ll be okay and somehow we’ll work it out – as long as this baby is healthy and comes soon, i’ll be happy … and i mean soon like tomorrow – and i don’t have to be induced
Kelley and i don’t fight – sometimes we argue (about ridiculously stupid things) but we get past it fairly quickly – Kelley is so calm and laid back that he just doesn’t engage in arguing, per se – he just says his piece (peace?) and he’s done – i, on the other hand, am the emotionally charged, hot-tempered one – it’s something that i constantly struggle with and having recognized that behavior in past relationships, i have tried really hard not to bring that into my marriage – so on the occasion that i do get really pissed at Kelley (usually for something ridiculously stupid), i usually shut down to prevent myself saying something really mean and inappropriate that i can’t take back – probably not the best way to handle things, but it works for us – at least for now …
i have friends who have had dreams that their significant other did something really bad and when they woke up, they were mad at them – that’s never happened to me but when i woke up Saturday, i thought for sure Kelley was mad at ME! i have always dreamed very vividly and more so when i’m pregnant – and i usually don’t remember the details unless i talk about the dream, which i rarely do – but this one was too far-fetched not to sharet!
i’m not exactly sure where we were – maybe some church event or some type of class – all i know is there were a lot of other people there – some couples and some single – and for some reason our refrigerator was there and i have no idea why!! anyway, out of the middle of nowhere Kelley calls me out of the room and calls me over to the fridge – all of a sudden he starts going off on me about how i never cook anymore and how i’m wasting food – now i will say that toward the end of this pregnancy, i have not been cooking much – i’m too tired and not very hungry and just haven’t had the energy – but what’s weird is i can’t remember if i was pregnant in the dream or not – at any rate, he was mad that i hadn’t been cooking and opened the fridge to prove his point – as he opened the door, all i could see were these HUGE sides of beef – like the kind you see hanging in a slaughterhouse – “look at this”, he yelled – “i took this out of the freezer days ago and now it’s gone bad!” – uhhhhhh – he pulled out some huge piece of meat and threw it on the counter – “and this, what about this?” – i know it was a dream but you still could have knocked me over with a feather when Dream Kelley pulled a cow’s head out of the refrigerator and said, “and how come you haven’t cooked THIS?!?!” – i took one look at him and said, “what about me makes you think that i would EVER cook something that has EYES?????” at that point, Kelley got really pissed (which NEVER happens in real life) and threw the cow’s head down – he looked me dead in the eye and said, “i’m leaving – and when i get back on Wednesday, your lap better be COVERED in job applications” and then he stormed off leaving me standing there looking at him like “WTF just happened?” – then all of the men who had witnessed our huge blow up came over and started hitting on me
needless to say, this was a WEIRD dream and the biggest fight that Kelley and i have had to date – when i told Kelley about it, he laughed and tried to be all “YEAH!!” as if he were really like Dream Kelley – yeah, i shut that down with a quick eye roll. he hasn’t mentioned anything about it since i told him, so clearly it didn’t stick with him like it did me – if i were really motivated, i’d get on the Internets and find some dream interpretation – but clearly i’m not – instead, i’ll just tease Kelley about fixing him cow’s head the next time he asks what’s for dinner!
today was a really good day – but yesterday … not so much
i have always been a person who is able to function on very little sleep – during this pregnancy, i’ve averaged about 3-4 hours a night and am still able to get through the day if i don’t get a nap – i’d like to say i’m proud of that fact, but i really think it’s a curse – i mean, people need sleep – right? anyway, since we’re in the home stretch of this pregnancy *fingers crossed*, the insomnia is getting worse and worse – which of course sucks because i REALLY need the sleep now – Sunday night, i didn’t get to sleep until almost 5am – it wouldn’t have been such an issue except that Sydney had her 2 year well check at 8:15am and i had an OB appointment at 9am – now, i know what you’re thinking – what kind of moron schedules appointments so close together?? well, that wasn’t the original plan – Sydney’s appointment was originally scheduled for Friday – but the office needed to change the appointment and that was the ONLY appointment they had for the next 2 weeks – and since Baby Hall #2 is due any day now, i took what i could get
i should have known that things weren’t going to go smoothly when Sydney was still asleep in her own bed at 7:30am – even on the nights she sleeps through the night in her own room, she still comes to our room around 6:30am – but that didn’t happen – at 7:40am, i found myself trying to get her dressed despite the fact that she was still asleep – i managed to get us out of the house fairly quickly and we pulled into the pedi’s office at 8:20am – i wasn’t too stressed because we were the first appointment of the day and we usually get in and out without a lot of fuss – plus my OB’s office is only 5 minutes away so i figured we still had time – that was until we ran into the nightmare that is computerization
apparently our pedi’s office is moving into the 21st century and computerizing everything – and of course the day we’re there is the day they decide to start – i’m sure that when we go back in a few months, all the kinks will be worked out and i’ll love it – but Monday? not so much. for starters, it took FOREVER for them to get us checked in – they had to scan my insurance card and drivers license, blah-blah-blah – 15 minutes later … once we finally got into an exam room we had to wait on the nurse who came in with a mini laptop and a helper – the helper being from the insurance company whose sole purpose was to hold the nurses hand as she tried to figure out the new system – now if i had been in charge, the process would have had them enter the current day’s patients the day before and then asked if there were any changes or updates – but instead, we got to answer all the questions one-by-one like we were new patients – then we had to wait while they figured out how to print it for the pediatrician – um, if you’re going to print it, what is the purpose of putting everything in the computer? sigh. now, this whole time i’m stressing because i know we’re going to be late for my OB appointment – and because i’m such a genius, i left my phone in the car – so not only could i not call the OB’s office, i didn’t even know what time it was – i’m now so fat that i can no longer wear my watch 
– finally the pedi came in and did the examination – Sydney was less than thrilled but we got through it fairly quickly – she was scheduled for 2 vaccinations, so we had to wait on the nurse to come in after the pedi left – O.M.G. we waited for what seemed like hours – i have no idea how long it was but when she finally came in, you could tell that she was flustered and in a hurry – she apologized (as everyone else had) for taking so long and again blamed this new “everything has to be documented on the computer” system – they tested Sydney’s hemoglobin (which was normal) and gave her 2 shots and needless to say, she was PISSED! she’s finally old enough to understand the concept of the doctor’s office and between being pricked on the toe and a shot in each leg, she was not a happy girl – that compounded with the longest pedi appointment in the world just started the downslide
when we got back to the car, it was 9:56am – greatness. i immediately called my OB’s office and fortunately they were able to reschedule me – unfortunately, it wasn’t until later in the afternoon – so even though we were only 5 minutes from the OB’s office, we headed back home – by this point, i could feel the exhaustion setting in and i could tell Sydney was tired too – so i thought for sure we’d be able to lay down a take a nap – but i could also tell that she was hungry, so when we got home we ate first and then laid down to nurse – yeah, Sydney was all about the nursing but she was NOT ready for sleep – i let her watch a couple of episodes of Caillou (cause i’m a stellar mom like that) and then turned off the tv thinking we could go to sleep – not so much – she had totally missed her window and instead of being tired, she was hyped – all she wanted to do was climb up the step stool into the bed and then climb off the other side – then climb up the step stool into the bed and then climb off the other side – my mistake was letting her continue this pattern but i was too tired to actually make her stop – then i started to worry that she was really going to hurt herself because i was beyond tired and could barely keep my eyes open – so i finally told her she had to stop and that if she climbed the steps one more time, she’d have to play in the other room – well she wasn’t down with that plan which set off a tantrum which in turn set me off – i vaguely remember begging her to calm down and just do what Mommy asked before the tears started to well up in my eyes – i had no idea why i was crying – but she was crying and i was crying – she wanted to be comforted and i wanted to be comforted – so i called her over and we laid down in the bed to nurse again
5 minutes later, she announced she was finished and decided it was play time – she started playing and jumping on the bed – she was flinging herself all over the bed and all i could picture was her slamming her head on the wooden headboard – so of course i threatened to make her get down – but every time i told her to stop, she would lay down and say “i’m sleeping” and then 2 seconds later, she was up again – finally, i mustered up enough energy to follow through on my threats – i grabbed her and put her down on the floor – she got pissed, slammed the door shut and went to her room – i could hear her in her room reading so i thought i would at least be able to close my eyes for a few minutes – but about 2 minutes later she decided she didn’t want to be alone and came right back – “Mommy?” “yes baby?” “nurse?” – uhhhh, how about NO!!! we had already nursed several times and i knew it wasn’t going to make her go to sleep – plus, when i get REALLY tired, i get touched out and i could feel that coming – so instead i told her to come and lay down next to me which seemed to work for a few minutes – then she proceeded to start rubbing and touching me – normally i love all that sweet, snuggly love but i was WAY beyond the warm fuzzy stage and just wanted to go to sleep – but my child had suddenly turned into an octopus and all i could feel was her hands all over me – on my face, in my hair, in my eyes, on my lips, on my arms – “OMG – will you stop touching me????”, i yelled – she didn’t say anything but i could tell it startled her – great. now i’m really mom of the year – then i began to cry – how many meltdowns can i have in one day?
by then it was time to get ready to head back to the OB, so i dragged my ass out of bed and somehow got us both dressed and into the car – i played “the babies” (the most god-awful CD of kids singing nursery rhymes known to man) which seemed to calm Sydney down which in turn calmed me down – by the time we got to the OB’s office i was feeling less exhausted and more just really, really tired – and after recounting the day to my OB, i was feeling somewhat normal again and ready to take on the rest of the afternoon – we swung by Costco on the way home, hit up Happy Hour at Sonic and then headed back to the house for what would hopefully be a nap – no such luck. but i was only on my own for about 30 minutes before Kelley came home and swooped in with his Super Dad cape – he and Sydney headed to the living room and i took a glorious 2 hour nap!
so there you have it – yet another mommy fail in my illustrious career as a mother – when i put Sydney to sleep last night, i still felt horribly guilty and i still apologized to her multiple times and told her how much i loved her – and once again, she just hugged and kissed me like i was the best mom ever – man, am i dreading the days when she can actually remember me being a bad mom – i have a felling those are the days that will be REALLY bad
according to Wikipedia, the gestation period for an elephant is 22 months – the longest of any land animal – and according to most of the people that know me, that’s about how long i’ve been pregnant – apparently my pregnancies last longer than the average woman because people LOVE to tell me “you have been pregnant FOREVER!” or the equally encouraging, “you have the longest pregnancies of anyone i know” – um, i’m the one that can barely get in and out of bed (or anywhere else for that matter) without moaning and groaning like a 92 year old arthritic man with a bad back, bum leg and a walker – you think i don’t know i’ve been pregnant forever? i will say that my one saving grace is that this time there hasn’t been a lot of those “have you had the baby yet?” comments – i was working at KKITM during my last pregnancy and since i was ENORMOUS, everyone expected me to go into labor early – every day that i would walk into work, someone would say “haven’t you had that baby yet?” – “uh, does it look like i’ve had the baby?” as i deliver a virtual punch to your face … so it’s been nice being at home and not having to answer that annoying question – and since i’m basically living out my life on FaceBook and Twitter these days – no one has had to ask there either, because of course i’ll be sure to change my status update the second i feel a real contraction
now that i’m just under 3 weeks until my due date, i finally feel like i’m starting to get some things done – i think that whole nesting thing might have actually kicked in – at least as much as it can for a big fat pregnant woman who can barely get around and HATES to clean – we finally had the carpet in all of our bedrooms replaced this week – and despite the fact that i spent the 2 days before the carpet people came wanting to remove my husband’s limbs from his body so that i could beat him with them, we both survived and i’m back to thinking of him as the Practically Perfect Man that i married instead of a Moron with the Common Sense of an 8 Year Old – the end result was that while initially i didn’t really love the color of the carpet, it’s starting to grow on me and i can now walk into my walk-in closet – i also managed to wash all of Sydney’s gender neutral newborn stuff (though i’m pretty sure it’s still in the dryer 
) and i’ve made some semblance of progress into transforming her closet into a closet for two children rather than one!
i met with my doula last week and got my birth plan together – it’s much less detailed this time around, with only the absolutes listed – everything else will be on an “it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission” basis and if someone decides to challenge the pregnant woman in labor, well, they better be prepared for what comes with that!
i managed to get a couple of hours to myself this weekend (Sydney went to Mass with my mom and i went shopping like a good heathen) and i miraculously found my labor outfit without even looking! what, you ask, is a labor outfit? well if you’re a bit on the “ew” side like i am, you’re a little wigged out by the thought of giving birth in the same hospital gown that a thousand other women have given birth in – not because i’m worried about cooties or germs or anything like that – i just prefer to be wearing my own clothes that i’m comfortable in – with Sydney i initially wore the hospital gown to pacify the male nurse, but as i my labor progressed i changed into my own comfy sports bra and pajama pants and felt a lot better – looking back though, i didn’t really think it through – if i had i would have realized that since babies generally come out of your vagina, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to be wearing bottoms – DUH! plus, once i finally gave up and ditched the pants, it was a major pain trying to keep myself covered while i ran back and forth to the bathroom or changed into different laboring positions – and not because i’m super shy (i mean, i’m assuming the hospital staff has seen a naked woman give birth before) but i had horrible hot and cold flashes and i spent a lot of time covering myself with a blanket and then throwing it off of me – so this time, i put a little more thought into it
apparently there are several “designer hospital gowns” out there these days, but when i looked at them they were still hospital gowns – albeit with better fabric choices but hospital gowns nonetheless – and EXPENSIVE! some of them running in the $100 range – really? $100 for a hospital gown? you’ve got to be kidding me! so i decided on a different option – a tank top and skirt – i figured with a tank top, i could keep my belly covered if i wanted but still have quick access to my midsection if they need to monitor the baby – also, my arms would be available of they need to insert an IV or check my blood pressure – and a skirt would give me the coverage i wanted below the waist, but still give the nurses access when they needed to check to see if i’ve made any progress – GENIUS!! or at least i thought so – my initial plan was to make my own skirt but as my due date gets closer, i realized that i didn’t have the time or really the inclination – so Plan B was to head to Ross or TJ Maxx for some cheapy version that i wouldn’t mind throwing away after i give birth – and then i experienced the greatness of Target (insert angels singing here)
normally i’m a Walmart girl and my friends give me a hard time for that – but honestly, for me the Target is a lot harder to get to than the Walmart is – and Target almost never has what i need – and when they do, it’s usually more expensive – so for me, Target is a destination location that i only visit when i need something specific – like underpants and nursing bras – after spending 45 minutes at JC Penney only to find they had NO plain black briefs and that my once average 36B boobs have grown to a massive (at least to me) 40C, i headed to Target – after finding black underwear on sale and the perfect nursing bra with my much needed molded cups, i decided to venture to the maternity department to see if there was anything that i just couldn’t live without – i never made it that far because an XXL tank top was on the clearance rack and it was purple – $6.48? SOLD! i just found my labor tank – i was contemplating getting a second one when i looked around to find an entire rack of short jersey knit A-line skirts – holy crap, the shopping gods were smiling on me! it was EXACTLY what i had envisioned making if i’d had the time myself! black, stretchy jersey knit material, light elastic waist, knee length – and it was on clearance too – PERFECT! i never would have guessed that Target would be my one stop shop – but it was – and i’ve checked one more thing off my list – labor clothes – DONE! now i can get back to the important things – like getting my hair colored and a mani/pedi before the big day – KIDDING!! sort of … not.
last week my friend ReJana (of the awesome BluDoor Studios) announced they were doing Valentine’s mini sessions – and because i’m a total Attention Whore when it comes to my kid (and who are we kidding – when it comes to me too ), i immediately signed Sydney up – talk about comedy – this kid is a natural in front of a camera – well, let me rephrase that – she’s a natural in front of ReJana’s camera – today she had on a cute leopard print dress and had taken off her shoes and socks – i had her hair in one ponytail on the top of her head (because i could only find one rubberband) and she TOTALLY looked like the modern day Pebbles Flintstone – i had already written the FaceBook caption in my head so all i needed was the picture – i whipped out the camera and the minute she saw it she yelled “NOOOOO!!” and ran off – sigh. a few minutes later she came back around so i picked up my iPhone thinking she’d be more responsive to that – she took one look at me and said “NO MOMMY!” – “please Sydney? stand right there and take a picture for Mommy”, i begged – “NO Mommy – no picture”, and she turned and walked away – i’m pretty sure if she had long hair, she would’ve tossed it in my direction like some sort of mini-mean girl – great. full on attitude at the age of 2 (almost).
but with ReJana (and Mike), it’s a whole different story – this kid turns on the charm and oozes personality like she’s getting paid! when we got to the studio, she immediately gave ReJana a hug and then stepped into Photo World – grinning and smiling – laughing and teasing – every once in a while she’d pull a grumpy face but after a “Sydney” or “Peek-a-boo” from ReJana, she was right back to her flirty self – ornery, i tell ya’!
anyway, ReJana posted a few sneak peeks on the BluDoor blog – but if you really love my child (and let’s face it – who doesn’t? ) – you can check out all 50 proofs – just don’t say i didn’t warn you – this kid has NO personality – none. 
clearly, i’m in big trouble!
i’m not sure if i’ve ever mentioned it before but i often call Sydney by her nickname, Monkey – from the time she could cruise, she’s been climbing on anything she could – beds, couches, chairs, stairs, the dog, people … so the title of today’s blog is wildly appropriate
as all children Sydney’s age – she is VERY into mimicking and repeating everything she sees you say or do – to the point where Kelley calls her a parrot because you can hardly say a word without her repeating exactly what you just said – most of the time it’s super cute and some days it’s down right hilarious – just yesterday at our weekly playdate, one of the mom’s commented that Sydney was so good at repeating – and she is – if i tell her to say something, she can almost always repeat it – and a lot of times if she just hears you talking, she’ll repeat the last word you heard her say – i spend a lot of time teaching her to say funny things purely for my entertainment – especially when they pertain to “Daddy” – you know, things like “Daddy’s silly” or “Daddy’s pooping” (one of my personal favorites!) – and because i’ve been so massively tired lately, lots of directions for Daddy to do – like “Daddy, hungry” or “Daddy, change you?” (which she says instead of “change me”) – but none of those fun little phrases prepared me for today
i knew it was coming – it was inevitable really – hi, my name is dianthe and i have a potty mouth – **hangs head in shame**- i really have made an effort to clean up my mouth (at least around Sydney) and i thought i was doing pretty good … until today – i was at the kitchen table eating dinner, Kelley was in the living room watching football and Sydney was in the play area of the living room – all of a sudden i heard something fall and about a half a second later i heard a little voice say, “dammit … dammit … dammit” – Kelley and i both looked in her direction after the first one to make sure that was what she really said – but there was no denying the second one – or the third one – her tone and inflection were absolutely perfect – she sounded JUST like me – clearly she’s been paying close attention to Mommy – sigh.
i have to admit it though, i laughed – i laughed and i laughed hard and loud – i couldn’t help it – it was funny – and cute – i know, i know – i’m not supposed to laugh or even acknowledge what she said – but because i wasn’t actually in the same room as her, i don’t think she realized i was laughing at HER – but it was pretty freaking cute – and i know that it’s cute now because she’s 2 (almost) and doesn’t know what she’s saying and it DEFINITELY won’t be cute when she’s dropping F-bombs at 4 like she’s been doing it all her life! but tonight it was funny – even so, a few minutes later when she dropped something, i jumped right in and put the kibosh on it – i heard something fall to the ground and heard her groan – but before she could get a word out …
me: “uh oh Sydney – did you drop something?”
Sydney: “yes”
me: “uh oh, you dropped something – tell Daddy what you dropped”
Sydney: “uh oh, dropped something”
me: “uh oh Daddy – Sydney dropped something”
Sydney: “uh oh Daddy – dropped something”
Kelley: “you dropped something? what’d you drop?”
and so the conversation continued …
whew – crisis averted – at least for now – or until she drops the next inappropriate word she learned from Mommy! let’s just hope it’s not in front of my mom – or the nanny – nothing says Mother of the Year like a kid who cusses, right?
