yes … i’m still nursing

i remember when i was pregnant with Sydney – i had everything completely planned out – i knew exactly when she would eat, when she would sleep, where she would sleep … it was all set -  and then she was born … and everything that i had read in books and all the advice i had been given completely went out the window – the instant we got her home, my child suddenly became the poster child for “anti” behavior” – everything that typical babies LOVED, my kid hated with a passion – all my friends raved about the Miracle Blanket for swaddling – Sydney?  she hated it – even in the hospital, she wasn’t really a fan – but once i got her home, she screamed bloody murder every time i tried to swaddle her – it didn’t matter how tightly i wrapped that baby – it was AWFUL!  “all babies need to sleep on their backs so they don’t die of SIDS”, blah-blah-blah – Sydney would NOT sleep on her back – she didn’t even want to be laid down on her back – so for the first few weeks, Kelley and i slept propped up with Sydney sleeping on our chests – the original plan was for Sydney to sleep in our room in the bassinet for 3 months and then move her to her room in the crib – there was NO WAY we would ever co-sleep – but she HATED the bassinet – she refused to sleep there, the crib or the pack-n-play – in my professional Mommy opinion, i think she’s a little claustrophobic – but that’s another blog – and so the co-sleeping began …

and then there was breastfeeding – i never had any doubts that i would nurse Sydney – at no point did i even consider formula – my mom breastfed all of us and i just assumed i would do the same – Sydney latched on at the hospital like a pro and it was all good – except my child is an eater!  and that “every 2 1/2 to 3 hours” crap they told me at the hospital was exactly that … CRAP!  my child needed to eat every 1 1/2 to 2 hours – so instead of feeding her on demand (whenever she wanted it), i tried to stick to a schedule – of course the only thing that got me was an hysterically hungry child and breasts that were so engorged that i had to manually pump my boobs in the shower to relieve the pain – looking back, i can say that i had an oversupply problem – and while for many moms that sounds like a great problem to have, it really was miserable until i figured everything out

my initial plan was to nurse Sydney for about 6 months – sure i knew about the recommended 1 year and all that but after a few weeks of nursing, i was BEYOND exhausted – not to mention that Sydney basically wanted to nurse 24/7 and i was feeling less like Elsie the Cow and more like the Human Pacifier – it was months before she would really take the paci on her own because she would much rather be sucking on me – i had heard of those  crazy, crunchy, hippie types that nursed their kids well into toddlerhood and could tell you without a doubt, that would NOT be me – i was of the “breast is best, but if you’re old enough to ask for it – i’m out!” camp – and there is no way you could have convinced me otherwise – i even considered bailing at 5 months when Sydney got her first teeth – but she only bit me a couple of times so we stuck it out

fast forward to 11 months – i seriously started contemplating whether or not to wean Sydney – despite the fact that she was eating lots of solid food, our nursing relationship was still going very well – Sydney was never a huge fan of the bottle so when people started asking if i was going to throw away all her bottles on her first birthday, the answer was no – as it was, she preferred the breast to the bottle anyway and the only time she really took the bottle was if i was at work – plus she was starting to reject the bottle more and more and i was getting irritated because we were wasting all the milk i was pumping!  the closer it got to her 1st birthday, the more i was leaning towards allowing Sydney to self wean – she was still nursing several times a day and numerous times throughout the night (which was another reason we co-slept) but she had just started walking and i figured the more mobile she became, the less interest she would have in nursing – so i decided to nurse until 18 months and see how things went – but because she was wearing me out, i decided to set some limits – even though we were working on transitioning Sydney to her toddler bed, she still slept with us the majority of the time – and when she did, she treated me like her personal All You Can Eat Breastaurant – so on the advice of some other extended breast feeding mommies, i decided to night wean – it actually went a lot better than expected – we used Dr. Jay Gordon’s method and the transition was fairly seamless – but Sydney was still nursing a couple of times a day and always to sleep if i was the one to put her down – then i found out i was pregnant …

i had talked with a couple of mommies who assured me that nursing through pregnancy was possible but that most of the time, babies would self-wean during the pregnancy – your supply takes a serious dip, the consistency of your milk changes and so does the taste of your milk – i was about 5 weeks pregnant when we took a vacay to Mexico and i thought Sydney might self wean while we were gone (she had long since given up drinking pumped milk – it the boob or nothing!) but i pumped and dumped the entire time i was there just in case – the minute we got home, she asked to nurse – so much for that theory!!  at my first OB appointment (at 8 weeks), Dr. Flowers gave me the green light to continue nursing throughout my pregnancy but warned me that Sydney might self-wean for the same reasons the mommies had said

11 weeks into my pregnancy and Sydney was still nursing as often as i’d let her – but by that point it was really starting to hurt – i never had any pain while nursing (unless i was engorged), so this was something new to me – and not only was it new, but it was excruciatingly painful – if i could make it through that first minute that she latched on, i was fine – but that minute seemed to last an hour and it felt like shards of glass were being pulled through my nipples – good times.  by this point, i felt like my milk was drying up and i was starting to look forward to Sydney weaning because the pain was awful and i was exhausted – only Sydney had no intentions of weaning – she only nursed more – and anytime i tried to give her the Heisman, she would become frantic and literally BEG to nurse – I began to regret ever teaching her the word nurse – it was awful – how do you deny your child something that she not only wants, but really seems to NEED – talk about mommy guilt – and so the nursing continued … and continued … and continued

so here i am, 29 weeks pregnant and still nursing and with no end in sight – we have completely night weaned and i’ve set what i consider to be some good limits to our daytime nursing – we only nurse when Sydney is going to sleep or waking up – and when she’s upset or needs to be comforted – if she just randomly asks to nurse throughout the day, i ask her if she’s ready to go “night-night” – usually she’ll tell me no and find something else to do – but occasionally she’ll say yes which lets me know she’s ready for a nap – this book was recommended to me by another extended nursing mom – it really helped me understand the changes that my body is going through and what to expect and how to handle nursing a baby and a toddler – yes, i fully expect to be breastfeeding both Sydney and the new baby in February

and now for the questions … i’ve been asked a ton of questions about continuing to nurse so i’ll try to answer them here – feel free to ask anything i don’t cover – clearly, i’m not shy!

what are the benefits of extended breastfeeding? – basically the same as breastfeeding your baby – nutrition, comfort, health benefits … one of the things that has kept me nursing throughout my pregnancy (even though i’ve often wanted to quit) is the fact that Sydney is still getting my antibodies through nursing – with all this Swine Flu nonsense going around, i’m thankful that she’s still protected on that end – i elected not to do flu shots for us (the regular flu and H1N1) because i’m generally just very, very healthy – i spent the 5 years before i got pregnant with Sydney making a concerted effort to catch the flu (as i knew it was a surefire way to lose 10 pounds!) and it never worked – i’m talking drinking behind people, sitting next to them, sharing air – pretty much all but making out with flu-ridden friends and NOTHING!  obviously i’m very lucky and very healthy and i’m happy to pass that on to Sydney – i rarely ever get sick and when i do, it’s never anything more than a mild cold (though i complain like i have pneumonia!) – and a little fyi, The American Academy of Pediatrics currently recommends that “Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child..” * The World Health Organization and UNICEF recommend that babies be breastfed for at least two years.

how will you handle Sydney being jealous of the new baby nursing? i’m actually not anticipating any jealousy issues – everything i’ve read has indicated that the initial bond between the baby and the toddler is actually stronger when they tandem nurse – the book, Adventures in Tandem Nursing, has actually given me a lot of tips on how to handle both as far as maintaining my supply, positions for nursing both, jealousy, etc. – of course since Sydney has always been the “anti” child, that may not work for us – but we’ll cross that bridge when and if we come to it – i am hoping that if i have an oversupply problem like i did the first time, that Sydney will be able to help – she can drink the fore milk and then the new baby can have the fattier hind milk – i still think that’s part of the reason Sydney was so skinny – lots of fore milk and not enough of the fatty stuff!

isn’t it weird to breastfeed a walking talking kid versus a baby? not really – i thought for sure that it would be and it was definitely one of the things i thought would be strange before i was pregnant with Sydney – but for some reason, when we’re nursing she doesn’t seem like a toddler – she just seems like a baby who needs to be nursed

when will you stop nursing Sydney? i honestly have no idea – like i’ve said before – there is NO WAY you could have convinced me that i would still be nursing at 21 months – or 18 months – or even 12 months really – the magic number in my head now is 3 years old – but i can’t say that with any conviction because i know how things change – i can’t even definitively say what will happen when the new baby is born – so i guess i’ll just play it by ear and see what happens – but i can promise that she won’t be coming home from school to nurse during lunch!

aren’t you worried you’re spoiling her by letting her continue to nurse just because she wants to? nope.  i honestly don’t think Sydney is still nursing because she wants to – i think she still needs to – i know that she’s technically not a “baby” anymore but it’s not like she’s a self sufficient kid either – while she is talking up a storm, she’s not able to effectively communicate her feelings and until she is, i’m not 100% comfortable forcing her to do things that i don’t think she’s ready for yet – like potty training – i also don’t think she’s capable of manipulating me into nursing whenever she wants – i could be wrong on this one, but i doubt it

what about what other people think? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  if you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know that what other people think of me, the things i do or how i raise my kid is pretty low on my priority list – sure i’ve had people make comments about the fact that i’m still nursing – including my mom and sister – but guess what – i don’t really care -right now, it’s working for us and that’s really the only thing that matters to me

i hope this didn’t come off as some Breast Is Best and Formula is the Devil tirade – that’s certainly not the way that i meant it – don’t get me wrong, i am passionate about breastfeeding – and am seriously contemplating a future career as a lactation consultant (way down the line of course – because i don’t have enough on my plate at the moment!!) – but i also don’t believe in forcing people to raise their children the way i think they should – if you don’t want to nurse your kid past a year (or at all), that’s your prerogative – if you think breastfeeding is weird (Kellie Rasberry!) and think formula is just as good, then go for it!  we all make decisions on a daily basis on what’s best for our kids (at least most of us do!) – sometimes they’re the right decisions and sometimes they’re not – but somehow, they all make it to see the next day and we’re all still the best moms that we can be – and at the end of the day, isn’t that the best we can hope for?